Mosquitoes That Bite
“I was bitten by a mosquito. Nobody said they could bite.” Hotels and resorts offering a cheap vacation or an expensive one should really let their guests know that their mosquitoes bite.
Mosquitoes That Bite
A Ply For More
“I only got 2 toilet paper rolls per day.” That’s really not enough if you’re new to burritos perhaps, but you could always ask for more paper I suppose. Sometimes taking a cheap vacation has its cons.
A Ply For More
Size Matters
“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.” There’s something not okay here, and we just can’t seem to figure it out.
Size Matters
Too Many Bulgarians
“There were too many Bulgarians in Bulgaria!” It only seems fair that when you go on vacation abroad that you get away from the crowds. But perhaps it’s taking it a little too far when you aren’t pleased to find locals in their own hometown.
Too Many Bulgarians
Topless Sunbathers
“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
Topless Sunbathers
Guest Vetting
“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.” You know, tour companies need to start vetting their guests before they come. “Sir, please tell us how much noise you usually make while on vacation. Between 1 and 10, please.”
Guest Vetting
Fish In The Sea
“No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.” You know, when people say ‘there are plenty of fish in the sea,’ they really mean it.
Fish In The Sea
The Wrong Sunrise
“The brochure didn’t say from what cardinal point the sun rises in Spain.” Sometimes travelling to a different country can be disorienting with the language, culture and jet-lag. But something don’t change, they just don’t! The sun will always rise in the west… or is it the east?
The Wrong Sunrise
Too Greek
“Food in the Greek hotel was too Greek. We had to eat in the nearby fast food.” It seems completely unfair that a family visiting Greece would be served Greek food. Thank goodness there was a fast-food joint around the corner, whew!
Too Greek
Useful Information
“We booked a trip to a water park but nobody told us we had to bring our swimming suits and towels.” Having realistic expectations might be the first step they should have taken. I guess going to a water park is not usually part of a cheap vacation package.
Useful Information
Too Sandy
“The sandy beach was too sandy!” Why is it that every time we go on vacation to the ocean, the beach is always sandy? They should really do something about that.
Too Sandy
Been Here, Done This
“I’m sure I’ve stayed in this hotel room in a previous life. I cannot stay here again.” Sometimes you go on an expensive vacation and sometimes you go on a cheap vacation, but you never go to the same place twice! Even if it was during your past life.
Been Here, Done This
Angry Hairdressers
“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort’. We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew it and made us wait longer for service.” This is a severe form of discrimination! Hashtag “Hairdressers’ lives matter the most”.
Angry Hairdressers
Angry Ice Cube
No, not that Ice Cube, we’re talking about the one that you put in your drink. “The ice in my glass melted too quickly.” Staff should really have found better ice cubes because this is totally unacceptable.
Angry Ice Cube
Cheap Vacation
“We bought Ray-Ban sunglasses for 5 Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.” Well everybody did say that taking a vacation in a small town would mean a cheap vacation.
Cheap Vacation
Burning Hot Sand
“Nobody told us the sand would be hot. It was almost impossible to walk on it.” It’s quite something when the sun, the sand and the hotel all plot against the vacationers.
Burning Hot Sand
Bumpy Roads
“The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”
Bumpy Roads
Too White
“The sand on the beach was whiter than in the brochure.” They really thought that it was just a bright picture on the brochure, they didn’t expect the sand to actually be that white!
Too White
Long Flights
“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England but it took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.” What do you think? Should they get a full refund for their significantly longer flight?
Long Flights
No Air Conditioning
“We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.” Hey, I’m all for the AC on full blast when the sun is scorching the earth outside, but when you are outside?
No Air Conditioning
Outdone By An Elephant
“Spotting the visibly aroused elephant ruined my honeymoon by making me feel inadequate”. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing to compare yourself to others, but maybe not when it’s an elephant!
Outdone By An Elephant
No Egg Slicer
“Although the brochure said that there was a fully-equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.” You’ve got to have them egg-slicers, man.
No Egg Slicer
Too Spicy
“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.” When in Rome do as the Romans do, so when in India, perhaps adopt the same ideology.
Too Spicy
No Kangaroos
“Why are there no kangaroos hopping around Sydney city? I’m most disappointed.” Doing basic research before you travel is a must. That research might give you basic insights, like the fact that kangaroos don’t usually just roam the streets of Australia.
No Kangaroos
Canoe Pee
“We went on a canoe trip but were very disappointed that no one told us there would not be a bathroom onboard. It was very inconvenient.” Water, water, water everywhere but nowhere to pee!
Canoe Pee
Too Much Salt
“The water in the Gulf of Mexico was too salty. No one told me that there was going to be salt in the water. It was gross.” Who knew that the sea had salt!
Too Much Salt
An Old Flame
“You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain.” What is a volcano without some lava? Just a mountain, apparently.
An Old Flame
Hot Air
“There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get on the hot air balloon ride if you’re afraid of heights.” They thought the whole experience was just to sit in it, not to float up into the air with it.
Hot Air
Big City Life
“On our trip to New York, the streets were dirty and we saw people asking for money, it was depressing. There should be a warning to travelers.” It’s the Big Apple, perhaps they were expecting to see fruit.
Big City Life
Beached Whales
“The beach had too many fat people. It was gross.” The ministry of tourism should keep tabs on all beach-goers.
Beached Whales
Tu Habla Ingles?
“Why doesn’t everyone speak English? We went Spain and no one understood English. We will never go back there again.” The solution to this problem might just be to stay at home.
Tu Habla Ingles?
Water Is Wet
“Tour company did not warn me that I would get wet during the river rafting trip. It ruined my $300 leather handbag.” How do we put this? Rivers flow with water, and water is wet. Hmmm…
Water Is Wet
That Is Funny
“The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?” Your request has been told to the animals, they’re laughing and smiling already!
That Is Funny
Simply Unacceptable
“Will never return to this hotel because there are homeless people everywhere in this city.” That is definitely the hotel’s fault!
Simply Unacceptable
Culturally Inconvenient
“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
Culturally Inconvenient
Bright Sparks
“My trip was ruined when I got sunburned and got sick because of it. They should warn you that the sun is brighter in Mexico than it is in the United States, I would have used sunscreen.”
Bright Sparks
Darn Mexicans
“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.” How did those Mexicans get to Spain?!
Darn Mexicans
Rooftop Pool
“You told us that there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room.” Who’s going to get this one?
Rooftop Pool
Too Beautiful
“The local women were too beautiful; it made me feel bad about myself.” Don’t feel bad about yourself, be happy with what you’ve got… like a cheap vacation.
Too Beautiful
Cage Those Animals
“We had to cut our trip short to Yellowstone because we were informed that they don’t cage the animals at night for our protection. This is just dangerous and unacceptable.”
Cage Those Animals
What About Equality?
“When I exchanged my money on my way back from Canada, I lost money. My money should be worth the same as everyone else’s.”
What About Equality?
That’s The Spirit
“I spent the night in the [hotel] room and experienced a friendly spirit. This presence got into bed with me, an old lady, she was nice and I just patted her on the head and we had a comfortable restful sleep. I think I will ask for a different room next time.”
That’s The Spirit
Hotel Alimony
“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.
Hotel Alimony
Not Just A Pretty View
“We could not enjoy the tour as our guide was too ugly. You can’t expect to admire a beautiful view when you’re staring at a face like his.”
Not Just A Pretty View
Sea Sickness
“My husband got carsick on the boat.” Okay, how do we have to break this down for her. Sick in a car = car sick.
Sea Sickness
Too Touristy
“Disneyland is too touristy.” Ah yes, we can totally get that and it’s very annoying. It’s especially annoying for someone like this person – a Disneyland local.
Too Touristy
Two Toilets
“We booked the honeymoon suite, and in the WC there were 2 toilets side by side. With no walls separating them! There is nothing at all romantic about that.” I just hope nobody used that second “toilet” known as a bidet.
Two Toilets
Basic Animals
“I spent a whole week on safari, and didn’t see any good animals. There was only a load of antelopes.” Are we saying that antelopes aren’t special anymore?
Basic Animals
The Real Deal
“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
The Real Deal
A Drinking Holiday
“The water tasted funny so I had to drink cocktails all week. Now I can’t remember half my holiday.” Now that would be considered a first-world problem, if you ask me.
A Drinking Holiday
Swan Hate
“The maid who cleaned our room made our towel into a swan shape. I don’t like swans.” Perhaps she’s a fan of leopards? Let’s see what the staff can whip up.
Swan Hate
He’s Not Getting Knighted
“Didn’t excite me at all. What’s the point of travelling to English to stand outside of Buckingham Palace. You can’t go in. Is the queen so greedy she needs all 77,000 square metres and can’t show off one of the grandest palaces in the world? Wow, a fence, whoop!”
He’s Not Getting Knighted
Kids Will Be Kids
“The restaurant said ‘children eat free’ but my 19 year old daughter still got charged for her meal.” Kids will be kids for as long as their parents are around… but not in a restaurant, folks.”
Kids Will Be Kids
I Spy
My plane journey was a disappointment as the sky was too cloudy, obstructing my children’s view of the sea and ruining our game of eye-spy”.
I Spy
Eat Your Heart Out
“We usually come off our cruises having put on at least a stone in weight. We’ve come off this holiday having put on nothing at all. It’s just not good enough.”
Eat Your Heart Out
False Advertising
“The hotel restaurant sign read, ‘All You Can Eat’, and I’m a vegan. That’s false advertising!” What did they end up eating then?
False Advertising
Rough Times
“The ocean was much rougher than it seemed in the brochure. It’s really dangerous to swim there, especially at night!” Let me guess… in the brochure it looks really still?
Rough Times
Flirting Receptionists
“The receptionists at the hotel’s front desk flirted with my 10-year-old son! He’s too young for a girlfriend and it’s totally unprofessional.”
Flirting Receptionists
